I Apologize
by jmandina
Summary: There was a knock at Beast Boy's door but he didn't want it to ever come. He shook his head as he hissed "Go away. I don't want to hear it." He placed his hands over his his head as be began to rock back and forth in the corner of his room. More than anything he wanted to disappear, he wanted this terrible day to go away. However no matter how much he tried, no matter how much he


There was a knock at Beast Boy's door but he didn't want it to ever come. He shook his head as he hissed "Go away. I don't want to hear it."

He placed his hands over his his head as be began to rock back and forth in the corner of his room. More than anything he wanted to disappear, he wanted this terrible day to go away. However no matter how much he tried, no matter how much he beat himself up today had indeed happened. The unthinkable did happen.

"Beast Boy. You need to come out and-"

"I said no!" he screamed as a few tears fell from his eyes. "Just leave me alone!" there was a large sigh from the other side of the door followed by heavy footsteps that echoed through out the hallway. Beast Boy rubbed his eyes in order to try and calm himself down, but to no avail. His uniform was still soaked in a mixture of water and her blood, he noticed the red stains on his gloves and ripped them off of his hands quickly unable to fathom the sight of it.

It wasn't really his fault and he knew it. However no matter how much he told that to the Beast, it still scolded him for what he had allowed to happen. It was fighting for control once again and he had to use everything he had to keep him at bay. His body shook as his animal senses picked up the smell of blood from his clothes once again sending his body into overdrive, more tears fell as he whispered the only thing that came to his mind.

"I'm sorry Rae. I'm so so sorry."

-Earlier-

"Come on Cyborg, stop eating so much meat! IT'S MURDER!"

"Yeah it may be murder, but it tastes pretty damn good." Cyborg retorted as he took a large bite into his cheeseburger. This action forced Beast Boy to stick his tongue out in disgust, his stomach sank to his knees as he changed his focus back to his tofu. He tried to ignore the smell of the delicious meat but no matter how hard he tried it made it's way back to him. A low grow seeped through his teeth as he turned to his best friend.

"I don't understand why you guys don't just accept each others eating habits already. I mean you have been living together for what almost 8 years now?" Raven asked as she sat at the seat across from him. Her long hair was pulled back out of her face so that she could read her book clearly, even with the sun shining in his eyes he could still make out her soft facial features. His heart began to pound as she stared at him, obviously waiting for an answer. His mouth became dry causing him to become speechless, he tried to choke out a response but he couldn't manage a single syllable.

As if to save him from himself Cyborg said "He is the one who always brings it up. If I could just eat my food in peace than-"

Beast Boy was snapped out of his trance as cut in "Excuse me? You are the one who knows how the smell effects me and you still-"

"So I'm not allowed to have food that smells good well pardon me MOM." Cyborg spat back.

Beast Boy opened his mouth to respond when the goth closed her book loudly in order to gain their attention. "You know someday you too will look back on this moment and realize how immature you are being."

The changeling spoke without thinking, his body was on auto pilot "Well no one is making you stay in here with us you know. You are free to go whenever you want."

Raven shot him a dirty look as she stood up from the table there was a flash of hurt before her face turned into stone. "Very well." she said in monotone, "I apologize for bothering you." Before he could respond she then proceeded to walk through the doors into the hallway.

There was a ping of guilt that hit the green Titans chest as he watched the doors close behind her, he didn't mean to sound so rude, it was just an automatic reaction. "Dang B, no need to be rude." Cyborg said as he stood up to take his plate to the sink yet again reading his mind.

Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck as he replied "Yeah I know, she just knows how to get under my skin I guess." It was a lie. Raven's presence didn't really bother him, in fact he loved it when she spent her spare time with them but there was no need for Cyborg to know that. His feelings had grown severely over the past few months and he found any and every excuse to be near to her. However these new feelings were scary to him, liking a team mate? Last time that didn't end so well for him, and these emotions were stronger than anything he ever felt for Terra.

"She's just lonely. With Robin and Star always off with each other, and me and you always hanging out, she really doesn't have anyone to be with." Beast Boy groaned at his friends words, deep down he knew that he was right. Raven was alone, more than ever now. Star was always off with Boy Wonder and he and Cyborg were almost inseparable. Raven really didn't have anyone, and it really killed him.

"Thanks for that Cy."

"Yup. It's what I do." He cooed as he shot him a look of amusement. "You should go apologize."

This made Beast Boy scoff, "Come one dude, I wasn't that rude."

"Ehhh." Cyborg responded shaking his hand in the air in a so-so motion. This made Beast Boy roll his eyes as he stood up to leave. He shot his friend one last dirty look before opening the door. While he was walking through the threshold he heard his metal friend yell "Make sure you too kiss and make up!"

That's how Cyborg was, always making fun of the feelings that he knew existed between them. Although his metal man was a pain sometimes, he always knew how to make him do the right thing.

After the agonizing walk to her room, Beast Boy looked up at the name that was plastered on the door. His lungs let out a large sigh as he knocked ever so lightly. He had hopes she would ignore his presence and he could just go away. However the door soon opened reviling his hooded crush, he could smell the lavender sent that he loved and was met with a rush of emotions.

"What." she spat.

"Hey look I'm sorry for what I said. It was rude, and-"

"Look I know Cyborg sent you here to apologize, but you don't have to. I know I bother you so there is no need to say what you are about to say." her voice wasn't harsh, but it still made Beast Boy flinch slightly. He was unable to react so he just stood there like the idiot he felt he was. Before he find the words say she continued "If Cyborg asks I will tell him that you said a very heartfelt apology and I excepted it, it'll just be easier on you that way." She shrugged her shoulders as if what she was saying wasn't ripping his heart into two, like she wasn't making him feel like the most guilty person ever.

"It's not like that Rae, you don't bother me." He said in an attempt to rectify the situation he was in, she only rolled her eyes in response and made an attempt to close her door.

Beast Boy moved his foot in order to stop the door from fully closing, the sensors installed took effect and opened the door back up slightly. She narrowed her eyes and said "You are lucky Cyborg installed those after the first time you broke your foot that way."

He chucked, "Yeah don't I know it."

"If I don't bother you then tell me the truth, why are you always nervous around me? You always say stupid things, then come running back to my room after to apologize. What is your deal?"

His heart began to pound out of his chest, adrenaline pumped into his veins as her question sank in. "What is my deal?" he repeated her words and she nodded. This is not how he wanted to admit his feelings, he had pictured it differently, maybe something more romantic, but maybe it didn't matter. If she was going to deny him, she was going to deny him. Why let it be in a more embarrassing place than this.

He took in a deep breath to calm his nerves and spoke in a shaky voice "The thing is Raven, I lo-"

Just before he was able to finish his sentence the alarm to the tower began to flash red. Beast Boy let out a large sigh of relief, he was happy to be cut off because that conversation could have gone south very quick. After a moment the door to Robin's room, which was located next to Raven's, opened and out ran Boy Wonder and his girlfriend. He looked at the two of them and announced,

"Titans trouble."

-

The Titans were called to an old warehouse at the harbor. The distress call was made by the night guard who had caught someone hiding a "suspicious box" in the empty building. Normally Beast Boy would be upset because the mission is so vague, but this time he was only thankful that it was a distraction from his awkward conversation with Raven.

"Dude is this warehouse creepy or what?" Beast Boy asked as the team walked into their desired location. His animal senses picked up an unseen danger, although he couldn't put his finger on it, he knew that this wasn't going to end well.

"Every warehouse is creepy to you Beast Boy." Robin retorted.

"Yeah but this one is REALLY creepy." the changeling said as a shutter ran through his spine. "Oh look and to prove my point there is a huge whole in the floor, look you can see the water from here." He looked around to see that no one was paying him any mind, "Am I the only one who cares about this?" he shouted a little louder to gain some from of attention.

"Yes you are B." Cyborg replied. Beast Boy shot him a cold look as the team began to search the warehouse. The changeling rolled his eyes as he made his way through his assigned part of the building. Still his animal senses screamed to get out of there, to get him and his chosen partner out of the unknown danger that lurked in the darkness. He fought back his emotions and focused on the task at hand.

Just then a familiar voice echoed through the shadows. "Well well if it isn't the Teen Titans. Long time no see." The Titans looked to the dark end of the warehouse just to in time to see a terror emerging from the darkness.

"Slade." Boy Wonder said through his teeth.

"Hello Robin. I hope you have missed me as much as I have missed you." The last time the Titans had seen Slade was when he had went into the depths of the earth with Robin to retrieve what was left of Raven's soul. Their leader had not spoken of what had went on down there, but from the jest of it, it sounded like Slade was not to return ever.

"What do you want with us, why are you here-" Robin spoke frantically as the rest watched on.

"I have set up a little test for your team. Somewhere in this warehouse is a bomb set to self destruct in 30 minutes. Let's just see if your reflexes are just as sharp as before my leave of absence." With the last hiss of his terrifying syllable an abundance of Slade-Bots began to emerge from behind him, causing the team to take a step back in surprise.

"Cyborg and Star, find the bomb. Raven and Beast Boy take care of the Slade-Bots. I will go after the real thing. Titans go!" With that everyone sprang to action and started at their assigned tasks.

Beast Boy transformed in to a tiger and pounced at the oncoming robots while Raven chanted her metra. He looked over to his friend and took note of her stance, a low protective growl formed in his throat as she moved away from the grasp of a Slade-Bot. He forced himself to remember that she could take care of herself before returning to his own problems.

The fight raged on as each of the Titans dealt with their task, Cyborg and Starfire were tearing apart the warehouse looking for the bomb, while Robin was off who knows where chasing Slade. Out of nowhere he heard a screech from his left, after looking over he watched in horror as Raven's body fell from the air. Her hair flowed like ribbons in the sky while her violet eyes were closed.

As an instant reaction Beast Boy lept from where he currently was and ran to catch his goth friend from the air. To his dismay, right before her precious body was able to touch his finger tips he was struck from behind. His world became black as he stumbled backwards and was met with a liquid that immediately engulfed his body. Someone screamed his name, and then there was nothing.

-

Beast Boy felt pressure on his chest, soon the pressure was gone it was replaced with agonizing pain. He groaned and made an attempt at to block out whatever was causing his body to ache. The he heard her voice "Beast Boy." It was so far away at first, but gradually it began to get closer "Please wake up! Beast Boy!" Soon it was right in his ear, "Goddammit Gar wake up!"

He then bolted upright, his eyes were wide as they took in the scene before him. Cyborg was at the far end of the warehouse tinkering with something that was all metal and half of his size, Starfie and Robin were not fighting off Slade-bots and Raven-

He looked next to him and looked at the Goth that as kneeling next to him. Her eyes were wide while her breathing was labored, she looked panicked, she looked scared. Soon he noticed that she was soaking wet from head to toe, her hair was plastered on her face while her cape was was tossed to the side, her leotard clung to her body desperate to act as a second skin.

"What happened?" he groaned as he slicked back his wet hair. "Wait, why am I wet? Why are you wet? What-"

"You were knocked out and fell in to that hole." She said as she let out a large sigh and gestured beside her, he took note that her body was shaking. She looked like she had just seen a horrific sight, what had he missed?

"But why are you wet?"

A dumb struck look crossed her face but was immediately replaced by a softened look, "I jumped in after you." Her voice was shaking slightly but she continued "You weren't breathing, I-I thought you were dead." he could vaguely make out the tears that were now running down her face. His heart sank at the sight of them, he was utterly confused and wanted nothing more comfort her.

Without thinking Beast Boy reached out and cupped her face tenderly. Although the battle still raged around them, he felt as if there was nothing but them, like the whole world had melted away. His thumb moved to wipe away the tear that had escaped her eye. He smiled as he stated "Rae I'm fine. I-"

Before he could finish her eyes had became wide in surprise. He lips began to tremble as the color slowly left her face. Beast Boy began to panic "Raven? Raven, what's wrong?" As if to answer his question she leaned into him, he accepted her body weight and once she was in his arms he noticed the knife was in between her shoulder blades.

Beast Boy's eyes left her body and met the red glare of the Slade-Bot that had caused the damage. The Titan could feel his body begin to tremble with rage. "What have you done!" He screamed as he lightly let the now unconscious Raven lay beside him. He could feel his control slipping as he stood up, at this point in time the lone Slade-Bot was replaced with more than ten, however none of this mattered. The number didn't matter, only the action did.

His animal senses began to override his, he could smell the blood on Raven's leotard and the lavender sent that lingered on his skin. His hands shot to his head as his ears began to ring, the pure sense of pain forced him to drop to his knees. He screamed in pain and listened as it echoed through the walls of the warehouse. Breathing became heard and his heart rate skyrocketed. He was about to loose control, he couldn't help but fight it. He needed to keep calm to keep the Beast down. He needed his rock, he needed the one person who had ultimate power over him. He looked over to his Raven.

To his horror he looked into her pale face. She lay motionless beside him, he reached for her hand but as soon as their skin touched he realized he was ice cold. "No." he whispered to himself. "Raven." Once her name left his teeth something broke inside of him, his body erupted in fire and he knew he had lost the battle. He knew he was turning.

-

He woke up with Raven in his arms, her body was limp and lifeless while her skin was just as cold. As he looked around in confusion he saw his friends staring at him with concern looks. He was forced to look away in shame, he didn't want to see their faces, he knew he couldn't be able to bare it. All around him lay the destroyed pieces of Slade's army, nothing was moving. He knew that he destroyed them all, he knew that the beast was let out and caused havoc without his consent. Maybe if the circumstances were different he would have care, but right now he didn't regret loosing control.

Once his eyes met Raven's face his whole body began to shake and hot tears feel from his eyes. His heart broke at the sight of her, without thinking he moved a stray hair that lay on her cheek back behind her ear gently. He began to gasp for air as his lungs collapsed in on him. "Wake up." he pleaded to the body in his arms. "Raven, please wake up."

Cyborg moved to Raven's body and knelt in front of the two. "We need to get her to the Tower." The tin man said gently as he touched her arm. Without thinking Beast Boy began to growl protectively. Cyborg jumped back with shock and was met with his best friends harsh eyes.

Time stopped as Beast Boy's sensitive ears picked up Cyborgs increased heart rate. Adrenaline pumped through the two male Titans veins forcing the changelings muscles to tense up. After a few seconds the realization of what he had just done dawned on the green boy and he lowered his gaze in shame yet again. He shook his head and whispered, "Help her Cy. Save her."

Cyborg only nodded as he slowly slid his arms around Raven's body to move her from his grasp. Beast Boy clutched onto her for a split second before releasing her to him. He felt bare instantly but fought back the whine that formed into his chest. He watched in a depressed state as the tin man carried the woman he loved away from him. His body ached for her and he moved his sore feet in order to follow.

"Please don't die Rae. I need you."

-

"Beast Boy it's Cyborg please open up."

Hours had passed since the last person's attempt to enter his room. He was able to calm himself down a bit but still found himself on edge. The Beast inside of him begged for power, begged to see her. He wanted to take her away from all the people around here. The Beast was sure no one could take care of her like him and he could act as such.

His body shuttered as he responded to his friend to inform him to come in. If it was anyone else he would have turned them away just like before, but because Cyborg had vowed to help Raven he would allow his best friend to enter.

There was a long silence between the two friends as the tin Titan took a seat on the edge of his bed. Beast Boy adverted his gaze and continued to rock his body for comfort. A large sigh escaped Cyborgs mouth and he buried his face into his hands. A few tears ran down the changelings face and he finally managed to whisper the question that hung in the air. "How is she?"

Cyborg met his gaze and attempted a smile. "She's stable." his hushed response rang in his ears. "She's still healing herself, but she's stable now that we were able get the bleeding to stop."

Beast Boy flinched slightly as the memory flooded back. Raven had taken a huge hit, the knife had pierced a lung and caused her heart to go into overdrive. She wasn't able to heal herself because of the internal bleeding and they had even lost her on the way to the Tower. Luckily Robin was able to preform CPR and bring her back to him. It was bad. So bad that Cyborg admitted that he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to save her, of course that didn't go over well with the changeling. Things were said, terrible things. Things he knew he was going to regret but couldn't stop them from coming out. He was in pain and he couldn't gain complete control of himself.

"Thank you." he finally managed to whisper in response.

"She's going to be okay B." the metal man said as he raised his head from his hands and met his gaze. Beast Boy's heart began to race at his friends words, he felt his hands shake at his kind statement.

"Can I see her?" he managed to whisper. The stillness in the air gave him shivers, he waited for his friends response with eagerness.

A smile formed on Cyborgs face, "Yes."

-

The monitors beeped softly around the two and he traced circles on the outside of her motionless hand. Beast Boy hadn't left her side all night, once he was approved to go in he knew that there was no moving. He had made nest in the seat next to her and had no intentions of leaving no matter who badgered him. Her light breathing was like music to his ears and he listened to the steady rhythm of her heart rate.

"I'm here Rae." he whispered to her for the thousandth time. "I'm right here for you." He knew she wasn't going to respond but he just needed to remind her of his presence. Even if she couldn't hear him, it soothed his soul knowing that he was doing something.

Tears began to fall from his face as the memory of the previous morning flooded back to him. He may have lost his only chance of telling her how he really felt, and it was all because he couldn't muster up the courage. He felt like a coward, like a failure. He had lost his opportunity and he didn't know if he was ever going to recover from it.

"I need to tell you something Raven." he whispered as he took her hand and intertwined their fingers. His lungs took in a deep breath as he tried to calm his nerves down. "It's about earlier."

He waited for her response but received none. "The truth is-" he choked out as a light pause caused him to take in a deep breath. "I'm in love you you." his words hung in the air as the eerie silence caused his ears to ring. He shook his head and elaborated only because he felt like he needed to. "I act like a fool around you because I didn't want you to catch on. You make me feel things that I've never felt before and it scared me. Until now I didn't want to tell you but because you're-" he paused unable to say it.

He gulped down the lump in his throat and continued "I thought that you should know. Just in case I don't get the chance to tell you again." Tears fell from his eyes but he made no attempt to touch them, there was no one around and thus no reason to feel ashamed. An unknown hollow chuckle left his mouth and he shook his head. "I'm just sorry I didn't say anything earlier."

He moved their hands and kissed the back of her palm sweetly. Her smooth skin felt good against his lips causing him to smile on her skin. He sighed and moved their hands back to the bed. Guilt flooded his senses and he placed his head on top of their hands. "I'm so sorry." he whispered again nuzzling into their skin. "I'm so very sorry."

"Stop apologizing." A voice said softly. Startled he lifted his head and was met with her perfect indigo eyes. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of her.

"You're awake." he gasped.

She only nodded her head in response. A large grin grew onto his face and he let out an actual laugh. Pure happiness radiated through his whole body in that moment. His high soon came crashing down once he realized what was just said before she awoke. "Uh, how much did you hear." he asked sheepishly as he looked down at their connected hands. His mind was screaming at him to remove his hand but he couldn't find the strength to let her go.

"Enough." she whispered.

"Yeah?" he replied as he avoided eye contact and looked ahead. His heart rate picked up while her monitor remained the same. Silence engulfed the room as he waited for her rejection, he didn't expect someone like her to feel the same. He never did, but he couldn't bring himself to regret what he had said. It was finally out there and he was prepared for the consequences.

"Yeah, and I've got to say I'm a little disappointed." confusion crashed into him causing him to look back to her. To his surprise she had sat up and was now only inches from his face. She exhaled and he was met with her wonderful lavender sent sending his senses into over drive. "If I would've known sooner then I could've cut your speech short. You know I hate all that emotional stuff." A devious smile crossed her face at her response. He opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by her lips.

A spark was sent through his whole body. She tasted just as good as she smelled. Maybe better. The kiss was short and to his disgust she pulled away quickly, he opened his eyes and furrowed his brow in disappointment. She chuckled as she leaned against his forehead and shook her head. His heart was into over drive, this moment couldn't get any better. She was alive and felt the same as he did. It was perfect.

"I apologize my for taking so long dear lady."


End file.
